So Naomi Clark, author of Demonized and Afterlife were trying to find a new way to promote ourselves on our respective blogs and we came up with something that was a lot of fun to do!
We decided to do interviews of our main characters, but then realised that it just wouldn’t work. Instead we got fictional reporters to do the interviews for us (where I play the part of the reporter). So here’s The Sun’s interview with Naomi’s possessed private investigator Ethan Banning. Let’s just say things get a little … awkward…
And stay tuned for the interview with my character Jessica Newman from Torment on Naomi’s blog very soon!
So Roy Elliott, reporter with The Sun, March 21, 2011. I’m talking to Ethan Banning, private investigator. Thanks for agreeing to this interview…that’s if you’re still okay with it?
EB: Yeah, it’s cool. I had a free morning. And afternoon. And evening. Hell, we can make a night of it. Go hit some bars, pick up some chicks. Well, we can try to pick up some chicks. My pick-up skills are pretty rusty. I guess you can pick up some chicks and I’ll watch … No, that didn’t sound so good out loud as it did in my head. Let’s just get started, okay?
OK, so not many people truly know what a private investigator does – people see a lot of stuff in movies, read stuff in books….but what’s it really like?
EB: I gotta tell you, the movies have it all wrong. You know what I spend most of my time doing? Sitting on my ass watching motels and strip clubs, waiting for cheating husbands to show up. It’s boring a lot of the time. And when it’s not boring, it’s life-threatening. You know how many times I’ve been shot at this year? It’s a lot.
Apparently you investigate the paranormal…you watch too much X-Files did you? (sniggers)
EB: Yeah, well … that’s not … Look, okay, there have been some … issues lately, yeah? I mean, I don’t like to talk about it too much, it’s not conversation for polite company. But this whole paranormal thing, it’s really not funny, okay?
Ok then explain it to me…what’s the case you’re working on now…haunted house or something? (sniggers)
EB: You want the truth? Seriously? You want to know what it’s like messing with the paranormal? Man, I wish it was just haunted houses. We’re talking demons. Scary shit. Can I say shit? Is this a family paper? You ever seen a demon? You ever seen an exorcism go wrong? No? Well then don’t laugh at me, alright?
That’s um intresting….so how do you go about investigating these strange occurrences – what um expertise do you have?
That’s um intresting….so how do you go about investigating these strange occurrences – what um expertise do you have?
EB: Expertise? Are you serious? I’m just shouting in the dark, man, hoping for the best. One thing they don’t give you with your PI license is a field guide to the occult. You gotta work it all out for yourself, and hope you don’t get killed or eaten or your organs stolen … Hey, can I smoke in here? I really need a smoke right about now.
Sure you can have a cigarette…you okay? You look a bit distracted.
EB: Yeah, yeah, it’s a bad habit, you know? Smoking, I mean, not being distracted. Gotta have a few vices to satisfy the demon …
Sorry? What’s that supposed to mean?….you’re talking crazy about demons and stuff!
EB: You think it’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy, man. I’ve got an actual, factual demon living inside me, telling me to do seriously unpleasant stuff. All. The. Time. Stuff like, why not smash a bottle over this dumb reporter’s head and see what happens? Or shove your cigarette in your own eye? You try living with something like that in your head twenty-four-seven and see how sane you sound.
Ok then prove it! Give me some proof that you say demonic possession is real or I’m outta here.
EB: Proof? Are you batshit? Did you hear anything I just said. Look, man. You know what the demon is telling me to do right now? Really? It’s telling me to take your fucking tape recorder and ram it down your fucking throat and watch you choke on your own vomit. Would that count as proof, if I did that? What do you reckon?
Shit man calm down!
EB: You calm down! You started it. Listen, you want calm, you need to interview someone not possessed with a demon, okay? Anything bad happens to you because you pushed me too far, it’s your fault. You get that? It’s all your fucking fault.
You’re insane…Jesus! I’ve gotta go – best of luck psycho!
End of transcript.
Pick up a print copy of Naomi Clark’s Demonized HERE
Darkscrybe 